Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
