Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
