it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
