i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
