We're facebook friends in real life
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
50% drunk capacity currently
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
