let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
