Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
