im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
