Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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