Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize