Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
