I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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