I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
