You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize