I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
