I wish i was in the wii world.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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