i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize