therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
