I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
