yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
