Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
