Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
