you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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