Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize