I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
