do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
