I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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