its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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