I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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