I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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