Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize