her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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