I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
