Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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