Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
