One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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