yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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