My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
