Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
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You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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