i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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