Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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