you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
