how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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