Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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