so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
