I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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