worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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