I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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