It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
