You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
