I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
love makes seman taste better
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize