I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize