I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize