i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
