Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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