my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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