"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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