i don't like sucking hair
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
