I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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