Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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