So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
