he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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