so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
